Angel of Music?

“When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had, and never will have.” ~ Edgar Watson Howe.

I think that in a previously life, I may have been a French opera singer who got laryngitis on the opening night of La Vestale and then the career went spinning out of control into oblivion.  I like to think this explains my inability to sing well by myself, as well as my inability to sight-read vocal music.  There is a deep, dark black part of my soul that is hiding away all there terrible, imprinted memories of lives past, and therefore my future life is affected.

Yesterday I was handed a ten-page piece of sheet music to learn to sing.  Some of it is solo, and the rest is duet.  The last time I had a solo, I was in fifth grade (I think) and I had to sing “Shenandoah” to a group of elderly people on Memorial Day.  That was about eleven years ago.  Since then, I have been in two musicals (“Groovy,” wherein as long as you hit your cues, the director was happy; and “Kiss Me Kate,” for which I was in the chorus and could match my voice with others).  But for “A Christmas Carol”?  Oh no.  I’m flying solo.

It’s exciting, because it’s a new musical written by a talented local composer for me.  Because he works with Small Pond Productions, and he loved the show and was absolutely inspired by it.  I’m touched that he loved it so much.  I was one of the first to know that it was becoming a musical, and it’s been a blast hearing about new developments, but I always assumed I wouldn’t have to sing a solo.  Okay, no.  That’s a lie.  I assumed I’d have a duet, but I hoped I wouldn’t have anything where I’d have to pave my own way in the music world.  But I do.

I’m melodramatic.  The show is in December, and Tracy (the director) says we can cut the song if I can’t do it.  But that’s just it.  I want to be able to do it.  I want to learn how to sing well so that I can do musicals.  So that I don’t feel like I have to play Rock Band in a quiet, secluded corner.  I will have JoJo, who is one of the jolliest, most amazing and talented and patient people I have met, to help me when I need it.  She taught Isaac for “Dracula” so I can only hope that I’m not a tougher case.

Right.

Breathe in, breathe out.

In my avoidance of pulling out the keyboard and practicing this morning, I have managed to write a ficlet for the first time in… a significant period of time.  It’s Reaper’s Rock, and I’m actually incredibly pleased with it.  Sean is a character I’ve always had a little bit of trouble with, but he’s clouded in intrigue, and so I’ve never dropped him.  I feel like the piece is insightful for me as a writer.  I keep telling myself that I’m going to get back into the ficlets, but then I don’t.  I think that my favorite excuse is that the Word of the Day from the Oxford English Dictionary has been horrible.  I mean, honestly, “detent”?  Makes my writing options pretty narrow, especially because I only have one character who may (and probably doesn’t) know what a detent is.

This has been my day so far.  Picking up sheet music, striking terror into my own heart, and picking up a pen instead.  May the rest of the day be just as eventful.

Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee.

“A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.” ~ Jim Morrison.

Quick stylistic note:  I am going to try now to separate my “Photo of the Day” from a normal blog entry.  Just because I like to have relevant photos, I think, to the blog posts.  As awesome as the picture with my brother organising cards was, it wasn’t very relevant to cooking-baking.

Anyways.  Since the title of this blog entry (“Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee”) seems a bit peculiar and definitely flat out of a musical, I feel the need to justify it.  Yes, I know, one of Gibbs’ rules is “never explain yourself” but I’m going to anyway.  After all, Gibbs is unfortunately, in the end, just a fictional character.

The song in the musical makes pretty clear that Sandy, the main character is a Goody Two Shoes and that the other girls (or, at least, Rizzo) think she’s a little snobbish and “too clean”.  What’s sad?  If you look through the lyrics, the things that are mentioned are:  smoking, drinking, having sex/sleeping around, and swearing.  Rizzo disapproves of Sandy not doing these things.  First:  what a terrible image to send to youth!  Second, I’m pretty much like that.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve had my indescretions, but in general?  I don’t smoke, and the smell of tobacco smoke and marijuana smoke, et cetera makes me feel ill.  I don’t drink because 1.) I don’t like any alcohol I’ve ever tasted; 2.) the smell makes me nauseated; and 3.) I cannot in any way, shape, or form justify drinking.  I’m really bad about that, and as a college student, that pretty much screws me over.  I will tolerate drinking, I will be your designated driver, and I will cut you off, but being around people drinking just isn’t fun from me and I feel peer pressured- general, all-around unhappy.  I hate drinking, period.  I can keep going, but do I have to?

It definitely makes me look like a snob, and no fun (though every once and a while someone tells me I’m a lot of fun, and I just don’t understand).  Many of the people my age require a tolerance (and prefer an interest) in one of those four activities, and since I’m not keenly interested in any of them, I kind of shy away from people.  Why be friends with people who do things that you don’t like?  In the end, it’s akin to making friends with a bunch of people on the robotics team, even though you hate things like engineering and problem solving.  Only they’re more controversial topics, so people get more offended when you disapprove of drinking, smoking, swearing, and sleeping around.

I’m not trying to sound preachy.  I think it may sound that way, but I’m not trying to be.  I’m just exploring the reasons why I have difficulty making friends, and why the people I have made friends with (and want to see outside of their environments) as of late are four, six y ears younger than me.  A lot of them have the same values in these areas that I do.  Some of them, granted, I like and all, but I can never completely and thoroughly trust because I know they drink and smoke, and I don’t know why, that just bars me from respecting them fully (unfair to them, I know).  Most of the people I’ve been trying to befriend are like me, but if nothing else, they’re underage, and can’t legally be doing any of the things that worry me.  Unfortunately, my age worries a lot of their parents and I understand that and I curse my generation (or, you know, just plain old college students) for creating a reputation of uncleanliness, illegal activity, and general mayhem.

This is why at first, I missed Houghton.  It was a dry campus, it was mostly safe.  Of course, I was more naive then, and now I know that there are parties there same as any other college.  I’m just looking for a safe place with safe friends, and when I don’t see someone that fits my needs, I bar myself in and let myself be anti-social.  One of the many reasons I am anti-social, at any rate.

It’s Ashley’s birthday today and hopefully it will be good.  I had a lot of fun the last time I saw these girls, the ones I went to high school (middle school, in Caitlyn’s case!) with.  We’ll see what today holds.  I have no plans, just cake.

Come Fly With Me

“Fly me to the moon, let me sit among the stars.  Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.” ~ Frank Sinatra

So, I’m crazy excited.  I was wasting my life, cruising on Facebook, and I spotted an advertisement on the side for a new musical that’s playing at the Majestic all summer.  It’s called “Come Fly Away” and it’s a musical using the music of Frank Sinatra.  I know nothing about the musical itself, but I do know that it’s got Sinatra’s music, and between that and New York City, that’s all I care about.  Bryan and I have decided we’re going on July 10th.  Oh yeah.  That’s a Saturday.  Yikes!  First experience in New York City ever on a Saturday?  I may just be vying for suicide.  That, and I’m thinking my huge purse may not be the best of all ideas.  I’ll talk to people who have been there and figure out what I should do.  Besides, of course, wear my Chucks.  Gotta have comfortable shoes for a long day of walking.

The day will be incredibly long.  What I’ve got figured, we’ll have to catch the 5:30am bus out from Concord and then we’ll get to the Big Apple around 11:30am.  Show starts at 2:00pm, so that gives us about two and a half hours to figure out where the Majestic is.  According to the website, Come Fly Away is supposed to be about a two-hour show.  There are two possible buses out that leave after 4pm, but one of them leaves at 4:30pm, and I don’t want to chance that, so I think we’re going to take the 6:15pm one out.  Get this.  That one doesn’t hit back in Concord until 1:00am.  A seven-hour bus ride.  Bah.  I forgot how frustrating that is.  I’m really bad about long car rides.  Buses are cramped, too.  Seven hours?  That’s like… the entire ride to Houghton.  Round trip, the things going to cost about $120/each.  I guess that’s not too-too bad, but it’s still a lot of money to be tortured.

I kinda wish Bryan wasn’t so set on going with just me.  Otherwise, I bet Sean would drive to the city.  And I bet he knows his way around, too.  Not to mention he’d love the musical.  But he wants this to be a just us thing.  It feels so dumb to do it that way, though.  We’ve never been there before.  We’re both going to get shanked.  So yeah, needless to say, I’m excited, but terrified, and I’m totally open to other options of transportation how to get there.  I really think that Sean and girlfriend-of-the-moment would like it, though.  I’d have more fun going to a show with more people.

But whatever, I guess.  I don’t want to be a bother about it, not to mention it’s going to be an expensive day and it’s not fair to ask people to spend that much money. I mean, just between Bryan and myself, it’s going to be about $500.  That $250/each, and I think I’m being generous about it all, since we’ve not said anything about Subway passes or food.  I don’t think I could ask Sean to do that (and I certainly couldn’t pay for him).  I’m one of the fortunate few of my friends who does have a steady job.  And to be honest, I don’t think a lot of them care for Sinatra.  Which is really a shame.  He’s not original, but he’s got a great sound.  A lot better than the electricity and screamo of what’s popular today.

Edit: I just had someone suggest we drive to Stamford, CT and take the train into NYC.  It takes you right to Grand Central Station.  It would be about half the price, and the timing is sure better!  So, that’s an improvement already.  I’m crazy excited, not going to lie.