Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee.

Jeannie, Lily, Caitlyn, Myself, and Jon helfway up Mount Monadnock.

“A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.” ~ Jim Morrison.

Quick stylistic note:  I am going to try now to separate my “Photo of the Day” from a normal blog entry.  Just because I like to have relevant photos, I think, to the blog posts.  As awesome as the picture with my brother organising cards was, it wasn’t very relevant to cooking-baking.

Anyways.  Since the title of this blog entry (“Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee”) seems a bit peculiar and definitely flat out of a musical, I feel the need to justify it.  Yes, I know, one of Gibbs’ rules is “never explain yourself” but I’m going to anyway.  After all, Gibbs is unfortunately, in the end, just a fictional character.

The song in the musical makes pretty clear that Sandy, the main character is a Goody Two Shoes and that the other girls (or, at least, Rizzo) think she’s a little snobbish and “too clean”.  What’s sad?  If you look through the lyrics, the things that are mentioned are:  smoking, drinking, having sex/sleeping around, and swearing.  Rizzo disapproves of Sandy not doing these things.  First:  what a terrible image to send to youth!  Second, I’m pretty much like that.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve had my indescretions, but in general?  I don’t smoke, and the smell of tobacco smoke and marijuana smoke, et cetera makes me feel ill.  I don’t drink because 1.) I don’t like any alcohol I’ve ever tasted; 2.) the smell makes me nauseated; and 3.) I cannot in any way, shape, or form justify drinking.  I’m really bad about that, and as a college student, that pretty much screws me over.  I will tolerate drinking, I will be your designated driver, and I will cut you off, but being around people drinking just isn’t fun from me and I feel peer pressured- general, all-around unhappy.  I hate drinking, period.  I can keep going, but do I have to?

It definitely makes me look like a snob, and no fun (though every once and a while someone tells me I’m a lot of fun, and I just don’t understand).  Many of the people my age require a tolerance (and prefer an interest) in one of those four activities, and since I’m not keenly interested in any of them, I kind of shy away from people.  Why be friends with people who do things that you don’t like?  In the end, it’s akin to making friends with a bunch of people on the robotics team, even though you hate things like engineering and problem solving.  Only they’re more controversial topics, so people get more offended when you disapprove of drinking, smoking, swearing, and sleeping around.

I’m not trying to sound preachy.  I think it may sound that way, but I’m not trying to be.  I’m just exploring the reasons why I have difficulty making friends, and why the people I have made friends with (and want to see outside of their environments) as of late are four, six y ears younger than me.  A lot of them have the same values in these areas that I do.  Some of them, granted, I like and all, but I can never completely and thoroughly trust because I know they drink and smoke, and I don’t know why, that just bars me from respecting them fully (unfair to them, I know).  Most of the people I’ve been trying to befriend are like me, but if nothing else, they’re underage, and can’t legally be doing any of the things that worry me.  Unfortunately, my age worries a lot of their parents and I understand that and I curse my generation (or, you know, just plain old college students) for creating a reputation of uncleanliness, illegal activity, and general mayhem.

This is why at first, I missed Houghton.  It was a dry campus, it was mostly safe.  Of course, I was more naive then, and now I know that there are parties there same as any other college.  I’m just looking for a safe place with safe friends, and when I don’t see someone that fits my needs, I bar myself in and let myself be anti-social.  One of the many reasons I am anti-social, at any rate.

It’s Ashley’s birthday today and hopefully it will be good.  I had a lot of fun the last time I saw these girls, the ones I went to high school (middle school, in Caitlyn’s case!) with.  We’ll see what today holds.  I have no plans, just cake.


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something to think about

"You know, I don't know if you'll understand this or not, but sometimes, even when I'm feeling very low, I'll see some little thing that will somehow renew my faith. Something like that leaf, for instance - clinging to its tree despite wind and storm. You know, that makes me think that courage and tenacity are about the greatest values a man can have. Suddenly my old confidence is back and I know things aren't half as bad as I make them out to be. Suddenly I know that with the strength of his convictions a man can move mountains, and I can proceed with full confidence in the basic goodness of my fellow man. I know that now. I know it." ~ End of Act I in the musical You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown.

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