Terror Tuesday

Every once in a rare while I come across a day that depresses me to the core.  One of the days that makes me feel like I’d rather be burrowed inside myself in a small, safe room with only one window looking out into a forest with no human contact.  These are days that – despite their glimpses of humanity – so rotten to the core that flakes have fallen off my soul and disintegrating into the past.

Today was one such day.

On days like these, I will be too lazy/depressed to bother with any sort of formatting.  Inspirational quotations seem mocking and therefore I will not post them.  Photos are too cheerful, and will not compliment any posts.

But yet, despite all these offsets, I will often still write, because it is my natural inclination to pour my soul on a page and to let the ink (or, in this case, pixels) seep into the pure whiteness and taint it.  What I do write will be full of images, but a tad overdramatic.  My censors fall down because I am in a state of not caring.  Sometimes, on these days, I will write about the reasons of my unhappiness.  Other times I will simply write about the feeling of depression.  I often feel like my emotions are either unwarranted or else will not be understood by anyone else, and therefore I will be looked down upon to share their source.

In brief, I have dubbed today “Terror Tuesday” due to the collection of mishaps and frustrations that have tumbled into my lap one right after the other.  For the flood of tears I have held back between the gray walls in my irises.  One snowflake is not alarming, but when many snowflakes fall all at once from the sky and trample the world, they are a blizzard, and everyone fears.  In the same way, a small hurt, a single frustration, can be healed with a small matter of time.  But when these things come in hoards, fighting and slashing until a human looks more like a pile of dog chow, then a small amount of self-pity is warranted, as long as it doesn’t interfere with anyone else’s lives, which I have strived today to be sure of.  But in is 10:30pm, and this is the end of Terror Tuesday.

Tomorrow, I pray, will have signs of improvement.


7 Responses to “Terror Tuesday”

  1. 1 deloresflores June 9, 2010 at 2:54 am

    I’m sorry to see that you have these issues to deal with. I’m very new here and have decided to write a blog exploring my experiences with depression, both past and present, if you’re interested.

  2. 2 saxmei June 11, 2010 at 10:55 pm

    *hugshugshugs* I can’t believe I read this so late! 😦 I’m so sorry when people I love have to go through days like this, cuz they are terrible. :(I’m here hun, if you ever need to unload and vent to. I hope things improved, and left you with Wonderful Wednesday. And don’t hold back tears, lieb. Let them fall; they cleanse the heart. ❤

    • 3 slytherclawchica June 12, 2010 at 3:03 am

      Pish posh. I’d like to remain your low-maintenance friend. It was just a frustrating day, they come about every once and a while, and then the go away. They’re mostly frustrating because of how powerless I am in them.

      You know how it goes. 🙂

      • 4 saxmei June 12, 2010 at 3:33 am

        Yes, I know, but one day of venting and whining all over me every now and again will still make you the most low maintenance. 🙂 There’s a difference between low maintenance, and reserved. I’d prefer you to be low-maintenance. 🙂 ❤

  3. 5 slytherclawchica June 12, 2010 at 3:45 am

    You’re a goose! 🙂 But I lurve you like a sister. Thanks.


    Anyhoodle. I’m going to curl up in bed and drool over my new Hollywood crush until I fall asleep, since my boy’s out with friends and I have to work early tomorrow. *pout*

    I’ll talk to Saz tomorrow about Wednesday. 🙂

  4. 6 Daryl June 12, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    I hope Terror Tuesday fell away into its own oubliette of darkness, to be replaced by Wondrous Wednesday and Transcendent Thursday.

    If it helps to know that you’ve unknowingly made an unplanned positive contribution to some stranger’s world, your word-of-the-day Ficlets inspired me to use the same kind of prompt for my own writing this morning, with deeply satisfying results. I don’t know if the story will actually go anywhere (so many of mine don’t), but I had a hell of a good time writing the start of it. Thanks!

    • 7 slytherclawchica June 12, 2010 at 11:24 pm

      Aw, thanks!

      Yes, the rest of my week improved. They often do. 🙂

      I actually got the prompt from an old LiveJournal group that used to pick a word every Friday and challenge its reader to write a fifteen-minute-ficlet. The group is long dead and gone, but the idea lived on. I’ve tweaked it a little for my own purposes, but I enjoy doing it (when I’m not too lazy).

      I’m glad it worked out for you! It’s always nice to have a piece of work you’re proud of!

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something to think about

"You know, I don't know if you'll understand this or not, but sometimes, even when I'm feeling very low, I'll see some little thing that will somehow renew my faith. Something like that leaf, for instance - clinging to its tree despite wind and storm. You know, that makes me think that courage and tenacity are about the greatest values a man can have. Suddenly my old confidence is back and I know things aren't half as bad as I make them out to be. Suddenly I know that with the strength of his convictions a man can move mountains, and I can proceed with full confidence in the basic goodness of my fellow man. I know that now. I know it." ~ End of Act I in the musical You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown.

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