Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.

My beautiful glass angel.

“So don’t misunderstand me / You put the light in my life / You put the sparks to the flame / I’ve got your heart in my sight.” ~ Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John.

When Bryan went to England, he brought back a dozen things for me.  I liked almost all of them, and I pretended to like the things I didn’t, but more than anything else, I fell in love with a little glass angel.  It’s not a very special angel.  It’s certainly the type of thing you could find at a Hallmark store here in the States.  I didn’t love it because it came from England, I loved it because it was beautiful in a way I fail to describe.

I have a lot of trinkets out and about my bedroom.  I have the conch shell Sean brought back from the Bahamas for me.  I have “Steve,” the nailpolish rock from Sammy, a hoard of Beth-Art, Disney snowglobes, a panda-shaped candy dish Heather made in pottery class.  Sometimes among all the knick-knacks I have, I lose one.  It’s still there, sitting on my shelf, but I kind of forget about it and time passes.

Today, I was on the phone with Bryan, sarcastically criticizing his ear off (I don’t yell on the phone.  I get slightly voluminous and incredibly sarcastic) and snooping around my room looking for something interesting for my photo of the day.  I found myself standing in a corner next to one of my smaller shelves and, in the dark, I snapped a picture of my glass angel.  My brain registered “oh, that’s kinda cool” and I took pictures of it until I got one I liked and proceeded to yell at my poor, unsuspecting, powerless boyfriend.

Now, after sitting here for a few hours (I am not exaggerating) and fighting with new WordPress themes (because I was having trouble differentiating between paragraphs on the MistyLook Theme, however lovely it was), I finally get to the point where I take the SD card out of my camera, look at the picture, and remember when I got that beautiful angel.  It was almost two years ago, but it seems like an eternity.  When I yell at him for being less than what I expect, or because he’s human, I forget how positively miserable I was when he was overseas and I didn’t have instant access to him.  All I think about is what I want, and that isn’t fair.  Of course, in the moment when I am enraged, what is reasonable, rational, and fair matter very little.  In fact, the only thing that matters is getting my own way.

Sometimes we all need to have little reminders of the things that mean the most.  Today, my glass angel told me that like myself, my boyfriend has a glass heart, and I need to be careful with it.  Some things just don’t go perfectly back together.


2 Responses to “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.”

  1. 1 Goggles and Lace June 4, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    Aw, at least you had the sense to recognize a little irrationality. Most girls don’t. I know I don’t, always. I love the glass angel, though. It’s adorable, holding that little heart.

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something to think about

"You know, I don't know if you'll understand this or not, but sometimes, even when I'm feeling very low, I'll see some little thing that will somehow renew my faith. Something like that leaf, for instance - clinging to its tree despite wind and storm. You know, that makes me think that courage and tenacity are about the greatest values a man can have. Suddenly my old confidence is back and I know things aren't half as bad as I make them out to be. Suddenly I know that with the strength of his convictions a man can move mountains, and I can proceed with full confidence in the basic goodness of my fellow man. I know that now. I know it." ~ End of Act I in the musical You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown.

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